The Power of a Hand Written Note

The Power of a Hand Written Note

Someone told me early in ministry to never forget to say thank you in a meaningful way to volunteers who served with me.  It was a few years later, with the advent of AOL (remember those days?), that I would begin to learn the power of the hand-written note as electronic communication began to rule.

Bob led our vocal team at the time, and he was the best at writing detailed and personal letters to all who sang during our weekend services. This was a lot of work, and one that bore much fruit. 

While I have not taken my letter writing to Bob-levels I did take up the tasks of trying to write each person a thank you. I would soon pass this on as a “must-do” to other team members.

Over the years, I’ve walked in to offices, cubicles, and kitchens of those I’ve written. Many times, I would see the note from me pinned up, or held in place with a magnet.  I think these continue to resonate to this day for a few reasons:

-       Everyone loves to be thanked. No matter how large or small the task.

-       Snail mail worth opening and keeping is rare. For several years, we have checked the mail (down the street) maybe once per week.  99% goes in the garbage. When we get a note that is hand written it is a treat and a keeper.

-       A personal note builds community. It is way more than a text, email, or social media message. It says I wanted you to know that this act of kindness meant something more to me

If you struggle to write (and don’t we all) here are some tips you may find helpful:

-       Schedule it in your calendar. Like all things that are important you must make this a priority. If you lead a large team you aren’t going to get all them a note every week, but how many would you need to write to get to all of them in a month?

-       Buy a nice pen. A development consultant told me this once and I believe it. It doesn’t have to be an expensive Mont Blanc, but find a pen that you like. It will make the experience better.

-       Keep a list.  Try to rotate through your long list of volunteers, donors, or team members. This way you aren’t writing the “favorites” over and over, and everyone gets to experience this blessing.

-       Pray for this individual while you are writing them.

My wife and I are both privileged to be engaged in ministries around many amazing people. We both lead some volunteers (although she leads many many more than I do these days). We both continue to see the power of a hand-written note in expressing thanks and building teams. 

We also love receiving them because we know the intentionality that it takes to write them.

 

COACHING HUDDLES

COACHING HUDDLES

If blogs, conferences, books, and tweets were the answer to leadership development I think we’d be in good shape.  What’s made the difference in my personal life and development over the years is coaching. It takes a “real person” sitting across the table, on the phone, or looking through a video camera from across the country, reminding me of what I said I was going to do, and asking me how it’s going.

It’s with that in mind that Leadership Pathway offers a second year of Coaching Huddles designed especially for those who’ve been in ministry less than three years. The emphasis of these gatherings focus on how to begin the habits and actions to be a life-long learner. They are limited to ten or fewer, and are delivered over zoom video conferencing.

Click below to get more information. Space is limited we kick off again in July.

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Nobody Gets There on their Own

Nobody Gets There on their Own

Someone sent me this picture last week. I think this is about 1987. That's my home preacher, Wayne B Smith, in the center front. I sat on the aisle, house right, row 5 for most of my life up to age 18 and was deeply affected by watching hundreds (or was it thousands?) respond to the Gospel.

To the left of Wayne is my big brother. He was the first guy dumb enough to sign me up to be "staff" at his Kids Min Day Camp when he was a kids pastor.I was also inspired by his work ethic, and "can-do" mentality. This typically meant he just didn't go to bed when his ministry had a big event. I would shake my head and go shoot basketball in those days.

To the right of Wayne is a guy named Wally Rendel. Wally still preaches to this day in a church that is advancing. He has encouraged me greatly about how to help college aged young adults in to ministry, and he's doing it. His wife, Barbara, had me play in the band on some Easter services when I was in high school. Wally and Barbara are like second parents to me.

The guy in the very middle is Jim Burgen. Jim was Wally's youth pastor in those days. I think Jim was the first guy to put me in a band for a youth group thing. As I recall they all knew what they were doing, and I just kept the key boards turned down. (except for that helicopter sound affect on that one tune from my DX-7). Jim is now a preacher at a little church in Boulder, CO.

I could go on...

It's the Monday after Easter. I hope your Sunday was a great one. I was reading last night in my social media feeds, and in texts, about how many were at this church and that church, and how many baptisms happened all over the country.  If you're a church leader I bet your social media feed was similar.

Big days tend to make me reminisce about all the people that asked, loved, encouraged, and kicked me over the last 25 years. Nobody gets to where they are alone. If you're like me it actually takes more than just a village to help you along the way. There's probably not a picture large enough to include all of these folks who've meant so much to me over the years from KY, Vegas, Michigan, Chicago, Omaha and now Denver. 

I got a couple of texts "thinking of you" and those are the best. So I'm texting a few today as well. Hopefully you are in the yard working, or riding a bike, or playing catch with the kids, but you are already thinking what are we doing Sunday? Take a moment and make the list, and shoot some thank you texts out before you take off in to next week.

If you're like me the list is a long one...Kristin, Bart, Greg, Schneids, Andy, Saul, Jim, Ronnie, Gene, Bob, Amy, Curtis, Bill, Rick, Ben, Jim, Laban, Matt, Aaron, Jordan, Jeff, Bruce, Katie, Tim, Paul, Sean, Mark, Nate, Scott, Andy, Don, Megan, Lance, Nancy, Steve, Sammy, Lindsay, and just a few moments ago a guy named Jim made this list.

If I sat here longer I would think of more I'm sure. Like you, I'm off to next weekend planning.

Happy day after Easter.

 

Core Competencies

Core Competencies

About five years ago I did a series of roundtable lunches with senior leaders of churches. I asked them two questions:

What are you looking for in your next hire?
Why did you, or your executive pastor, have to fire someone on your staff?

After speaking with about 80 leaders across denominations, and from churches of all sizes we landed at about 150 general answers. I took this spreadsheet and had it printed at Fed Ex Kinkos (it was quite large) and hung one copy on a co-worker’s wall, and hung one copy on my office wall.

The goal was to boil down this list in to a common set of core competencies or soft-skills. I wanted to boil this off to five. I think we got it down to twenty something.

There are probably a thousand competencies to doing ministry this is not meant to be exhaustive (so please no hate mail about Biblical training and discipleship) keep in mind that this list assumes a lot.

For one, it assumes theological education is handled elsewhere for those that want to preach and teach. It also assumes that most of the core issues of personal spiritual growth are handled as well.

We were assuming a lot, but we landed on this list for a few reasons:

First, this is what church leaders told us. After all, what is needed in the field is a question that the Church owns. Not colleges or seminaries. This is theirs to answer.

Secondly, the landfills are full of discipleship materials. There are plenty of people on that topic.

At the end of the day, the Kingdom is spending billions on education and discipleship, and I’ve always tried to get at the core issue of why aren’t there enough leaders, and why are we still under-preparing the ones we do have?

Third, we were seeking to answer the question: Why do people get fired? And what ends ministry careers early at churches? In other words, where are the gaps in the skill preparation of how we are preparing people for ministry.

The gap does not appear to be in theological education.  We're good there. Our seminaries are full, and there's a ton of content on line.

The gap does not appear to be in discipleship. You may argue that there aren't many disciples and that's fine, but I'll point you to this week's list of books and resources, and last year's landfills. 

So where is the gap?

My co-worker Andy Dykhouse boiled this list down (below), and we’ve been tweaking/running on this list for four years. They are broken into thirds and build upon one another. It's a big list, and this is why we need two years of residency just to address the topics and coach through them.

This is the list that eventually led us to launch leadershippathway.org 

I’m curious what do you see that we are missing? Email me let’s talk about it.

 

Self Care

Coachable

Time Management

Communication

Taking Initiative

Fail Forward

Self-Awareness

Flexible

Work Ethic

 

Decision Making

Managing Details

Courageous Influence

Personal Finances

Gospel Presentation

Self-Feeder

Passion for Personal Growth

Bible Application

Lead a Meeting


 

Think Strategically

Developer of Others

Team leadership

Conflict Management

Networking

Delegation

Finances

Culturally Proficient

Four Dangerous Paths for Those Entering Ministry

Four Dangerous Paths for Those Entering Ministry

Four Dangerous Paths

 A Christian College senior sat down in my office in February of his last year of undergrad studies in ministry, and was perplexed. Like most of the good ones, he’d spent the better part of the last two years on a developmental path of part-time ministry under the guidance of a great youth pastor.

“I don’t know which of these opportunities I should pursue,” he said.  He’d had several different churches approach him about his post-grad plans. He had narrowed down to the final two. I knew of both churches. Church A had the right zip code, and the right salary for a college grad who was married with a child at home already. Church B was less attractive on the surface with a not so great address, and substantially less of a salary package.

I knew Church A well and I knew that the last five staff people who had finished their time there left on bad terms, damaged, and dropping out of ministry. My knowledge of Church B was that most staff members were put on a developmental path, and the ones who left had gone on to plant churches supported by the home church. 

This is a very real snap shot of what some 20 to 25 year olds face when making a first ministry decision. I get asked daily “where are all of the talented 30 year olds who’ve been in ministry for seven years and built something?” Many (most) chose the wrong path and they didn’t make it to the check point. 

I’ve seen four reoccurring paths that I’d call “dangerous:”

1. THE ROCKY PATH.  This one I’ve already described above as Church A. We’re not sure what’s wrong, but there sure are a lot of dead bodies of former staff people littered on that road. It leads nowhere, and is full of quick sand, and toxic waste dumps. Most do not survive. Meet someone who began on this path, and they barely like Jesus three years later, let alone the church.

2. THE WORLD IS FLAT PATH. Best practices from conferences and leadership resources are suspect at best. This church is not necessarily “old” but can be. If you meet a leader who joined this team and stayed a decade they can be a pretty angry individual. They’ve learned how to blame everyone around them for where they find themselves. They know what’s wrong with that big church across town. It hasn’t “really happened” for them yet, and they are stuck. On the surface, they appear to be “faithfully sticking it out,” but internally it’s a mess. In moments of tearful-honesty they will admit they wish they could do something else with their life. I typically am thinking and you want me to send you a youth pastor candidate?

I’ve heard one or two retired pastors tell of how they started in ministry. They started on this path.  I drove four hours each way and preached for 19 people every Sunday and they could only pay me in fried chicken and sweetened tea. For every one of these stories I’ve heard dozens/hundreds who never made it beyond the World is Flat Path. They did two or three years and switched professions.

3. THE RED-BULL-GO-PRO-PATH. We’ve all seen the exciting video of the skier going straight down a cliff with no path at all. Are they skiing or just falling? We can’t tell.

This church staff is making the news because of their amazing growth and sexy innovations. They are young, they are fun, they are cool, and if their new hire can make it down that mountain with no helmet they will have a great story to tell. A new green hire into this path MUST go in with an outside coach and someone to help them stay sane. These young bucks are the ones who get asked back to speak at Seminary because of their marque employer. But beware this path is marked with stories of divorce, cancer, and burnout.

They typically tell me that there is amazing stuff going on around them, but when they get honest they have burned it at both ends for so long they can barely remember their name, let alone why they got in to ministry in the first place.  We must come alongside these high potential leaders before they kill themselves. These are the ones who need a developmental path more than anyone. Three years of development, then go jump off that mountain with a Go-Pro and they might survive it!

4. THE "NO GUIDE" PATH. This is very similar to number 3, but it looks safer from the outset. Many have gone down this path, there’s a map, and there are even clear markers. It doesn’t appear to be dangerous, but the missteps early on are many. Those on this path make the same mistakes that others have made over and over. That’s why this path can also be called the Path of the Stupid Tax. Those on this path are often wondering if they are going the right way.

Those that were LUCKY ENOUGH to live this path and continue on think it’s fine, and actually almost a good thing, that those younger on their team are paying the stupid tax. Many are casualties of this path. With no plan, and no developmental help, these young leaders try, fail, and are eventually kicked off the path. We all know that pain is a great teacher, but let’s face it, there’s plenty of opportunity for pain on down the road.

We must help these young leaders avoid the dumb mistakes we made. We were lucky. Let’s admit that.

I’ve heard many who I’d call ministry veterans recount a conversation with a young leader trying to make a vocational ministry decision. They pray with them, they do a great job listening to them, and then they say well intentioned things that are not helpful like “Well give it all to Jesus and I’m sure you’ll make the best decision.”

 We need to guide, coach, beg, even push the youngest and most talented to the best developmental path before them. It could be less money (or no money), or a less desirable place to live, but it might keep them moving forward longer than what the average is currently.

Full circle back to my story above…I told this college senior to go find where the last four or five staff people were and come back and report to me. Sure enough, he’d looked far enough under the hood to realize that something was not quite right. I asked him, “What do you ultimately want to do some day?” He replied with, “Advance the gospel, preach, and plant churches.” I told him his choice appeared obvious. He had to go to some place with a track record of that with its young staff.  Two years later he’s still on his way to doing just that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 2: If I Like the Music at Your Church That's a Problem

Part 2: If I Like the Music at Your Church That's a Problem

I must say I was shocked last week at the amount of hits, conversations, and sharing part one of this post caused. I’m a minor-league blogger at best, but when anything goes “20x normal,” that’s a lot. While I don’t mean to stir up a circular conversation about worship style, age, and whom Sunday morning is really for, I do want to follow up with another observation because it just drives me even more to stay after a passion point for me.

I began ministry in ’92 and was fortunate to be around some great guys in ministry whom I have written about before. Even though I didn’t know it, and we didn’t use the terminology, I spent my first few years in what I’d call “Church Leadership Residency.”  I had a ton of feedback, a safe place to fail, and strong people around me that allowed pain in my life but wouldn’t let me quit.

I think about all of innovating that I was a part of in those days. There was a plethora of quantum leaping, in terms of ministry style, vision, and values that I was sitting at the table helping to shape. I was too young to be there…but I was. The people I was working for and being mentored by were anciently old. Most were 35 to 45. Ha! Many remain friends today.

The angst around "age" in the church is still real, and we must keep talking about it. I get it, clichés like “age is an attitude,” have some truth. There are plenty of influencers who are my age and much older and always will be. I mean, I guess I would hire Bono to be a worship leader.

But, it’s amazing when I think back to the types of decisions I was leading out on at a volatile church of 600, and then subsequently, at a church of 2,000. People a decade ahead of me surely were wincing, but then again, when I look back, they weren’t that old either.

It’s as if today we are so afraid that a twenty-something is going to do exactly what we did in the 90s!

Today, those of us who have opportunity to wield influence to help churches get younger at the leadership table must continue stepping up on this issue. This is another reason why I’m so passionate about leadershipPathway.org and helping churches begin residency. I repeatedly meet students who spend a couple of years in residency and then wind up being hired at those churches. I see this at some of the largest churches in America and some advancing smaller ones, as well.

Many students haven’t finished their undergraduate degrees yet are sitting at leadership tables because the 35-year-olds have been working a developmental path with them, and finally after two years, they trust them enough to have them lean in and lead out, much like I did!

Last week I was flying out of Denver and had some time to kill. The shoeshine stand had no line and my shoes were in desperate need, so I hopped up on the seat. Darwin, a fun, older gentleman began his leather polishing artistry and then asked the showstopper question, “So, what is taking you to Pittsburgh?” And I had to explain that I was flying across the country to help a church find a worship leader because they’d been looking for a long time and couldn’t find the next staff member.

Like most, he was shocked. “I’m a Baptist from Oklahoma City,” said Darwin. “You know, if you’re born in OK, your card is punched Baptist or Pentecostal, and I know I ain’t that, but I had no idea it was hard to find a pastor these days.” He went on and on asking all the questions about Slingshot and what we do to serve churches.

“Seems to me we’ve gotta get more people going in to ministry. That’s a shame,” he said.

I told him I couldn’t agree more, but we will have to invite the 8th grader like I was invited.  We are going to have to intentionally coach the twenty-somethings like never before. We are going to have to allow them to influence it, just like someone allowed me to do the same.

I may not like where they take it, and I may not like the music. That’s ok, too.